Screaming Reality

It's all in your head.

2005-10-31T23:04:00.000-05:00

"Exercise every day and take these antidepressants."...

That's what the patient-mill GP doctor my HMOish insurance sent me to prescribed as a treatment for my CFIDS/PEBV. Of course this wasn't after she asked me about any previous treatments I've had and if any of them worked. It wasn't after she asked me to describe just how exhausted I feel, what my symptoms where, why I wasn't still seeing any of my previous doctors, what any of them had told me, what tests had been done or what their results were. It wasn't after those questions because she never asked those questions. The ONLY question she asked was if I snored at night.

Now you might think that was because she was the senior physician and I had already been seen by the resident intern who probably already asked those questions, but you'd be wrong. In fact the intern actually told me that I should wear make-up to feel better. They also told me to stop taking naps and to stop drinking coffee. They also prescribed a medication that slows your heart rate down for the chest pains I've been having quite frequently for the last week and a half without even so much as listening to my heart. No EKG, no ex-ray; not even a script for a TSH blood test that would tell them if the new increased dosage of synthroid that my endocrinologist had prescribed was a bit too high since chest pains can be caused by that. Nope, dunno really what's wrong with you but here, take these, they'll make you feel better.

Oh well, what will it hurt, right? Well considering one of the top 5 doctors in the country that treats my illness told me NOT to exercise, that it can CAUSE heart damage. Not to mention the OBVIOUS danger of prescribing a heart medication to someone without knowing why they're having chest pains.

Of COURSE these doctors where making these diagnosis' based on my past medical records from the other doctors I have seen. They didn't need to ask me any questions to know how to treat me so that must be it, right? Wrong again. I actually filled out my record release forms as I was leaving that appointment.

To top it all off, my insurance won't even COVER the antidepressants. Oh well, I didn't want to take them anyway. Every doctor I've been to about this illness for the last 5-6 yrs have all agreed that I'm not suffering from depression. Hell even the psychiatrist that I was required to go to as a qualifier for my SSDI stated that I wasn't. That the only thing that I'm depressed about is being sick for so stinking long.

The real kicker was that she weighed about 450lb and told us that she walks 5 miles a day very self righteously. As we were getting into the car after the appointment C said "pft, 5 miles a day? With that much weight on her knees I'm surprised she can walk 5 blocks a day." It instantly reminded me why I love the man.

Slight of hand

2005-10-31T22:36:00.000-05:00

Watch me as I pull a conservative ideologue out of my judicial bag of tricks. But the real trick is making you glad I did. And it won't even matter that some little brown haired hippy from Toledo, OH, knew that's exactly what I was trying to do when I first pulled out my own personal cheerleader, er I mean lawyer for the job. After all, I WAS the "Greatest Governor Ever!" but I knew that she was a win-win situation. If the majority of my sugar daddies - er - support base trusted me then she would do everything the way I wanted it done anyway. After all, she's been working for me for years and knows my opinions about it all. If they didn't then it only would pave the way for me to introduce Mr. Tightass - er Samuel Alito with the wind in their sails with their support. It doesn't matter that that little brown haired mother from Toledo said that very thing would happen right after I nominated the cheerleader. Or that the people of New Orleans would be left without food and water until the public no longer would allow me to leave them there the day Katrina hit. Or that our real goal in Iraq was to make my buddies rich while installing a puppet regime and give my other buddies excuses to raise gas prices to three times what they need to be for the oil companies to make a profit (heh Exon recorded record breaking profits two quarters in a row now. Not for just the oil companies, but for ANY company EVER.) It also gives me an excuse to not worry about domestic issues, give my cronies jobs they're no where near qualified for, and spend more money than in the history of our country. It won't matter because even if she tells everyone she knows, that's like 4 people. And besides, people would rather pretend they don't know what's going on then admit that they made a mistake.

Americans will never take back America. They just don't want it bad enough.

Is it dead yet?

2005-09-16T18:08:00.000-04:00

The conscience of our nation. Your ability to empathize. "Those poor people" utter from your lips as you reach for the remote. *click* They're not you. It's not your life. Why dwell on it? I mean, you feel sorry for them so what more can you do, right? *click* It's not like it's your life. You have a life, a job, your own problems. You have to rake the leaves next week. What a mess THAT'S going to be. Hrm, what's this? Oh you wanted to see this. Damn it, you missed the first, what, 13 minutes. Aw shit and now they're going to a commercial. Well maybe it'll be on again later when you can TIVO it. *click* ugh I'm so sick of seeing this episode. Every time I want to watch this show it's this stupid episode. What? Did they only make one? *click* Man, what a bitch today was. And tomorrow's going to be even worse. *click*

*click*

*poke*

*poke*

Is it dead yet?

Don't Let the Roberts Hearings get you sidetracked

2005-09-15T00:42:00.000-04:00

I'm somewhat worried the Roberts hearings will sidetrack our political A.D.D. ridden country in that in a week only the left wing voice boxes (such as those heard on Air America) will still be asking questions as to the responsibility of Bush for the horrid response to the Katrina victims. Already the news shows are posting "the good things" as if the bad never happened. The city will be drained sooner than expected, the neighborhoods are opening up, Mr. Joe Football found his family.

Yes Brown resigned but there's still a LOT to answer for. Don't forget what and don't stop asking why. And of course don't stop asking what you can do to help.

Take it! Take it like a man! Because I can't anymore

2005-09-13T23:47:00.000-04:00

I can't take it anymore. I'm sorry, I'm honestly having a hard time understanding how our country got to where it is. I can not fathom how the most corrupt administration in our country's history can actually not only get away with all of the things they have and do but how they practically flaunt it in the faces of my fellow countrymen and women and most of them just sit there watching their reality T.V. shows with their mouths agape like chimpanzees in rubberneck horror while they watch some big breasted, tiny assed woman in a bathing suit pick cockroaches out of a vat of chocolate with her mouth. Meanwhile their President continues to make his buddies rich, ensuring his bottom will sit upon a velvet cushion paid for with the blood of the very people he was sworn to protect. More incredulous yet is how those very people can justify his actions by simply spouting the rhetoric garbage put onto the airwaves orchestrated by Satan's offspring, er, Karl Rove.

I mean honestly, my fiance and I almost left our bi-weekly traditional Sunday dinner at his parents' house because his mother actually insinuated that the people dying of starvation and dehydration in New Orleans deserved it because they didn't leave and because a few of the town crazies had blown a gasket after days of no food, no water, walking around in chemical-corpse-excrement laden sludge and more than likely no fix (EVERY city, especially ones the size of New Orleans have addicts) had broken into a Walmart, stolen guns (Yay Walmart!) and were firing them at the rescuers. His father said "Those people had choices. Do you think I would have stayed there had I been told 'this town is probably going to be wiped out if this hurricane hits'?" and I felt like saying "If you had no money to stay anywhere, no car, and 2 small children with you when the closest safe city is 80 miles away? Yes, yes I do. I think you would have held your children close and prayed for the best - because that's all you COULD do." When my fiance replied that those that stayed had no cars, his mother said "I would have called someone to come get me." Which tells me she's never been to New Orleans and has no concept of that town. People in New Orleans essentially know people in NEW ORLEANS. And even if they did know people somewhere that could come get them, the traffic jam was so bad that traffic was moving a mere 7 miles an hour. It's like Bill Maher said - "People just don't understand why they didn't grab a case of Evian, get into their Range Rover and drive to their summer home."

I cried off and on for days. I told my fiance the day after Katrina hit exactly what was going to happen (and did.) That those that couldn't leave before the storm would be stranded and left there dying until public outcry was SO strong that the President could no longer avoid it. I cried and I prayed and I felt helpless. Mothers were holding their dying children, babies were starving and had no idea why and were too young to understand why mommy wasn't feeding them. Elderly and ill were left in the homes their families had paid for them to be taken care of in to drown or die from lack of medication and nutrition. Hospital staff were forced to watch as patients they stayed to take care of died one by one because they had no power, no air conditioning or even water.

And now Bush has officially named his scape goat. Yeah Brown's incompetent, yeah he handled the situation with the expertise of a bull trying not to break eggs in a hen house. But Bush appointed him, and you can be damned sure he didn't take any action himself until public outcry was too much to ignore. Hell he didn't even leave his vacation until three days after it hit, Cheney a week and a half afterwards. Even more incredible was Condoleeza Rice who was shoe shopping days afterward, who didn't even make it down to Alabama WHERE SHE'S FROM for a week or so. Yeah, this "Christian" president seems to have forgotten all about the teachings of Christ.

St. Matthew:
Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. (Verse 3)
Blessed are the meek: for they shall posses the land. (Verse 4)
Blessed are they who mourn: for they shall be comforted. (Verse 5)
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after justice: for they shall have their fill. (Verse 6)
Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. (Verse 7)
Blessed are the clean of heart: for they shall see God. (Verse 8)
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. (Verse 9)
Blessed are they that suffer persecution for justice' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. (Verse 10)

Go to hell Bush.

K